From President Elect Trump 11/12/2016

Even America’s former enemies are lining up to congratulate the President Elect. “I received a sweet call from President Putin today. Well, not President Putin himself, obviously. One of his top, top people. Zero accent. Spoke like a real American. James Comey, I think that was his was his name. Comey, Comby, Commie? Something like that. I call him Jim. Very nice man. I love doing business with Russians. I can make deals. I make the best deals. I’m going to improve the Iran deal on day one. Day one. Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ali Khamenei, has already offered his assistance with improving women’s rights, right here, in the United States. I already hooked him up with Secretary Palin. Very nice man. Ali Khamenei, that is, not Secretary Palin. She’s nice too, but she’s a woman. At least that’s what I’m told. I haven’t checked yet. No more grabbing anything while I’m in this job. I made a solemn promise to Melania. And Ivanka. Not right away, anyhow. But you know what? The Sunnis love me even more than the Shias and the Al Shababs or Shish kebabs or whatever they’re called. I got a call today from Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, just a few minutes ago. He congratulated me on creating so many new jobs in the Middle East. He’s recruited a million new fighters in the past 3 days. 3 days! Thanked me PERSONALLY. My kinda man! Now I have Air Force 1, I don’t need my plane any more, right? So I made a deal with Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. I told him Ali Khamenei has already made a generous offer. Very generous. But Abu Bakr al-Baghdad offered an even better price. In Roubles, can you imagine! Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is actually buying my plane. Said something about his wives helping to remodel Trump Tower. I welcomed his suggestions. I can and will work with everyone. That’s just one of my many gifts.”


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